Partnerships require a lot of work from all sides if they are to survive and prosper. It is often said you only get out what you put in, and this is a great truism that refers to just about every human endeavour, but I believe more than all to personal partnerships.
In particular although partners often just muddle along day to day, there will come moments when the issue of well-being comes to the surface more forcefully. And you can bet your bottom dollar that those moments will occur at times of stress when one or both partners are feeling the strain, whether it’s a heavy bill to pay, one of you is sick or just things are not going your way.
One of those moments reared its loving head just recently and I guess that up until now we have been blest with the strange but welcome dichotomy that one always feels better than the other.
I have to admit though that I had not seriously considered the implications of one feeling unwell on the other, apart that is from the natural concern for each other, as we always get through whatever life throws at us by supporting one another.
We have been in the situation that many across the world must be in right now, with the economic downturn and its effect on the property market. With a house on the market for two years, and this is the second time this has happened, we are trying to move according to the need, not so much of ourselves but of others. However this time round it has left us in limbo waiting for others, you know, the void of unknowing which is not a pleasant place in which to feel confined, as I’m sure many of you can confirm.
Often in a marriage or partnership one partner is more prone to react to stress than the other, and unconsciously or not looks to the other for support in getting through those moments. It’s part of your unwritten contract, sealed with Love! But when the other is also caught in the web of the spider of stress it brings both down into that feeling of not being able to move out of the web of that sticky situation.
Did you realise that the un-well-being factor would have such a damaging effect on both partners? Especially when one always looks to the other to carry them through?
Unfortunately we as a race tend to concentrate on the thing that haunts us , confines or hurts us, whereas we should be concentrating on where we want to be and not on what is giving us a kick in the butt! And rest assured complaining about what ails you is not the way to go, for you are not only giving what you see as an adversary more power to get to you, but also welcoming and attracting more of the same.
When you concentrate on what makes you feel good, the Well-being factor, it makes you feel better, but you will also see an astonishing change taking place.
You may have what you consider to be an ideal relationship with you both, hand in hand, looking in the same direction, but in this moment of concentrating on well-being, just turn and really look at your partner and you will witness that ‘ astonishing change’ happening. Remember that you have said nothing and done nothing except concentrate on well-being of yourself. But look, your partner is visibly beginning to look better!
This radiation, for that is what it is, occurs with every thought that you may have. You can’t stop it, it happens!
Now, with both of you concentrating on what you both want, think how that will make you both feel! You are back in control, you can plan your way through any adverse opportunity that presents itself for you to manage, you feel good and your partner and all those around you will begin to feel better too. Having had personal experience of this I can say it really does work!
Concentrate on Well-being!
In Loving Partnership, Hanukah